I don’t conform to a capitalist Christmas

I’m writing this from my bed on Sat 20th Dec.

The clock shows 14:39.

My daughter has left to join her daddy at his mums and the house is quiet… the house is also messy.. a week of non-doing. A week of enforced rest, where my body stopped me in my tracks. I’ve heard of the body telling us through whispers when there are signs of depletion and I do feel my body has been whispering at me since the end of Nov, but I didn’t stop- I pushed through - why? Well, I couldn’t afford to stop or slow down and listen. .

Until it forced me to- I’ve had a terrible flu and it really knocked me for six, it also forced me into a bit of self reflection, which I always tend to do at this time of year and has sent me down several rabbit holes of reading- the thing I've been reading about and thinking on the last few days as I feel depleted- I've re-looked at my iron levels, (being veggie) my last results, (last year) my ferritin level was a 4, which was satisfactory for the doctors, but after some research is extreme depletion! So I am on a mission to get retested this year, and figure out the iron, as it’s so essential to immune health and feeling well. I have a desire to just want to feel physically well with my job and how much energy it takes. It’s gonna be a new year resolution of mine I think- I don’t normally do new years resolutions but there we go, I'm gonna sort out my iron- maybe start eating red meat who knows?

I’ve been through a really hard, intense year this year. A separation from a partner of 7.5 years, this had been coming for some time and I thank myself for investing in quality therapy which helped me highlight so much of my own patterns and wounds, alongside this really difficult grief of saying goodbye to a life that won’t exist and breaking up the family for my daughter, I've also opened up my new room in align movement studios on the Ormeau road. The energy it took to transform, create and pour into - definitely is catching up to me now that it’s winter possibly, I am immensely proud of creating something so magical and special despite going through such a tough time personally.

My granny Annie doherty was a fortune teller and she would have said to me ‘one door will close, and another door will open’ - which I'd say, “yes Annie, your right babes, that is exactly what’s happening’

I’ve been getting into astrology and hearing lots of social media astrologers talk about this year being a 9 year, which is a year of the snake, so lots of shedding- letting go of old ways/things/ people and next year is a 1 year- a new beginning. I really, really feel that. I am leaving behind lots of things that don’t serve me anymore, some people, some relationships and all the rest.

I’ve bought one present so far this year, it really hasn’t been a priority.. maybe next year will be different- but for now- it’s hunkering down and seeing the rest of December out which as much peace and harmony in my body and mind that I can muster.

Much love.